Race Recap

Did I just run a marathon? Is it done? Let's do another one!

That's kind of how I feel right now. 

But let's start at the beginning...

The night before the race, I had a grand ol' time making signs for the dreaded Haines Point, and then going to the annual pasta party where I'm pretty sure I ate wayy too much. So, of course, I woke up at midnight - wide awake - freaking out about the marathon. I tossed and turned for a few hours - think I slept from 2-5 perhaps. But then I was up at 5 and couldn't for the life of me go back to sleep. And my stomach was still doing flip-flops. 

As you can probably surmise, that left me barely able to eat a banana. Surprisingly, the cup of coffee I made myself did calm my stomach down a little. But I had to have a talk with myself:

Me #1: Whit, you don't have to go.

Me #2: But, I want to go!

Me #1: Really, then why are you freaking out?

Me #2: Becaaaaaause

Me #1: This is a choice. You have a choice. If you don't want to do it, then don't. Otherwise, shut your face and get going.

(I was reminded later that if I hadn't shown up, I would have been verbally acosted by my Pacers people, so I actually did not have a choice in the matter)

I also had a fellow Pacer's bag of stuff that I was dropping off at our tent (Pacers sets up a tent for the "VIPs" to leave their stuff. Usually has food, beer, champagne, and other stuff. It's great because it's right outside the finisher's circle and you don't have to bagcheck your crap). Luckily, I timed my metro ride right and was able to hook up with my friends. Chatting with them for the ride over was calming, but I was still unable to eat more than half of my bagel. 

We made our way down to the starting line, and I started to get hungry (WTF body). But we got into the line, boom went the howitzer, and off we went. 

The first two miles, I was actually stuggling to not walk. But I think I just needed to warm up. There's a good song that I picked for the first mile - Brooke Frasier is always my long run kick-off songs. The song is called Cochella, and it's about when she played at the music festival after suffering from some blues for a while. Seeing the mass of humanity was so beautiful to her that it lifted her spirits and she was able to compose new music. 

Anyways, there's a line in there like this "We're standing at the shore/in the smoke and the starlight/at the edge of a human sea/and the tide is in..." And it was really appropriate for the first couple of miles because there were people EVERYWHERE! 

Going up the hill was a challenge (as always), but I made it to the first water stop. Since unable to bring my NorthFace backpack (although I saw people with them, bastards), I had to bring my Amphipod Water Belt. But that also meant I didn't have any NUUN, so I had to drink the gatorade on the course. In any case, I tried to drink it at every water stop. 

After the hill, we looped around to Spot Run Parkway, which is all downhill. I kept it slow and steady, finding a large man carrying a flag to trail behind for the duration. I really like Spout Run Parkway, there's a pretty waterfall, you get to see the Georgetown side of the Potomac, and it's just nice. Then we were back up in Rosslyn, over the Key Bridge, and into Georgetown. 

By this point, I was feeling good now. I had a good and steady pace, I was only stopping for water and gatorade. After Georgetown, we ended up going up water street and around to Rockville Pike - new addition to this course, although we had run it twice over the summer. 

I really like this new course, there seemed to be a lot more folks out on the course, and it was much more shaded and scenic (not to mention less hilly). Right around mile 8, I started to feel a little fatigued, so I walked for a little bit. Starting back up was hard, but I muddled through it, all the way to the end of Rock Creek. 

Between miles 8-11, I think I started to take more walk breaks. Then we got on Haines Point, which is my favorite part, simply for the signs! I made some awesome ones:

"You're running better than Healthcare.Gov"

"ERMEGERD! RERN! MERETHERN!"

"If you're sad, just imagine a T-Rex doing a push-up."

"Hey Girl, You look hot in compression shorts. - Ryan Gosling" 

"Hey Girl, I love a woman that can go for 4 hours. - Ryan Gosling"

"Run like Miley is twerking behind you!"

"Run! Sharknado is coming!"

"I put up this sign at 3am - Don't disappoint me!" 

And for my buddies:

"Ed & Eileen - Your retaining wall fell down..."

"Abi - Just wait at the finish, Amos is going to run another 25."

"Sonia - The spectator guide is fine. Have a great run!"

"Whit - You aren't going to die. Suck it up and deal with it. <3 Whit from 12 hours ago" 

Right around mile 14 was when I think I hit a mini-wall. It was hard to concentrate, it was hard to think, and it was really hard to run. But I took another GU and muddled through. Also, I think at this point, my fuel belt started to really hurting my stomach (never again!!!). 

The point after Haines (miles 15-17) is just a hard part for me mentally, I don't know why. It's a long stretch from Haines to the Lincoln back to the mall. I walked a lot more than I wanted to, and I began counting down the miles (Only 9 left, only 8 left - an hour and a half). 

Last year, I coudn't remember running on the first side of the mall, so I took a mental note to remember it. The sun had started to come out, so I was able to pull off my little mini-jacket and wrap it around my waist. We strolled around the Capital and I got my picture taken on the other side (we'll see how those turn out!). Then it was down the mall to the 14th street bridge.

WHERE I SAW MY FIRST AND ONLY CHEERING SECTION!!!!!! I was so happy to have seen SOMEBODY on the course for me. Thank you Jeana, Chrissy, and Kelly! Also, I didn't realize Tanya was there too! 

That happiness lasted me for like five minutes, then it was back to walking. LOL. 

I had timed my music to play songs like "Single Ladies" and Sara Evans' "A little bit stronger" at the bridge, and it was good. But I took a break to check my phone and see all of the supportive messages that my friends and family had sent. I love you guys so much!!!!

At this point, since I was walking more than running, my foot started to hurt. But we muddled through, trying to run as much as we could. My stomach (not the actual stomach, but the muscles outside of it) was hurting more than the foot - I had to take my fuel belt off a few times just to relieve the pressure. It even completely cramped up towards the end. 

Crystal City held my favorite stop - Annapolis Runner's Coke station! But the bastards only had diet coke, so I couldn't drink any of it. So we continued on, around 23rd street, and back to Army Navy. For some reason, I got a second wind and was able to run more than I had been. Could have been the angry music that started playing. 

We came to the Pentagon and then up 27. We're now at the last two miles, folks! I caught up with a group of runners who were running with TAPS and set them as my pacers for a while. But my stomach was really cramping at this point, and I had to walk. 

The last mile or so, I tried as hard as I could to run, but the pain in my stomach was too much. I did go up the hill, and all the way to the finish. 

Then I just wanted my medal, my finisher's pack and to get to the Pacers tent. Where my buddies were there to great me and give me a hug!

So, all in all, I am very happy with my performance. Without my backpack, with a reduced training schedule due to foot injury, and with all the other crap that I had to deal with, I still shaved 20 minutes off of my time from last year. Which is actually pretty impressive. 

What is more satisfying is that I know I can do better (Not could, Mom, can). Which is why I'm going to try to do the Pensacola Marathon next year. I'll be home, where I have a built-in cheering committee, and possibly some great running partners (Val - you gotta do at least six with me!). 

Which means I get to be the most awesome spectator at next year's Marine Corps! I see balloons and a dry erase board in my future....

(I will edit this post later to update with links and garmin info :))

Marathon Eve

Well, here we are again folks - marathon eve. Pardon another reflective post....

In December of last year, I laid out a nice big plan for the next year. I thought that my running would continue to improve effortlessly, I thought I was going to be promoted because my project was going to succeed, I thought I was going to be engaged. I put in so much hard work for so long that I just knew that I would be reaping the rewards of my hard work. 

As we all know, none of these things happened. I didn't get what I "deserved" and spent most of the summer in a weird place emotionally, mentally, and sometimes physically. I kept making "plans" and having expectations of things only to find them continuously dashed by reality.

So, very recently, I have made some very different plans. Namely to not have them anymore. I have decided that the universe (God, Flying Spaghetti Monster, whathaveyou) will figure out what will happen, and I am absolutely helpless to control it. 

Which is why I'm feeling very Zen about this marathon tomorrow. I know I can't control the outcome, and, at this point, I have done literally everything I could possibly do to be successful. I can't control whether my foot starts throbbing, or whether I get too cold or whether I just plain ol' run out of gas. What I can do is bring a jacket, bring an extra gu, and hope for the best. And, most importantly, not get angry with myself for not doing better.

I bring a lot of yoga teaching to my running. Last year, I had a mantra, a chant that kept me going, "If not now, when?" This year the mantra is "Strong and Focused." 

Strong - Because I will run this marathon without anyone waiting for me at mile 20 (Beyonce and Single Ladies will get me through that particular emotionally jarring stretch of the course). Strong because I have trained with a sprained arch, trained while working more than 40 hours a week, trained while going to grad school. Strong because I have put myself through more than I ever thought I could handle, and I have come out clean on the other side.

Focused - Focused because my will to run is stronger than my desire to stay inside. Focused because I control my own thoughts - they do not control me. Focused because the only person who can run this race is me, and I will carry myself on my own two feet. 

All that being said, in yoga, we set an intention before every class. Sort of a, "here's why I have come to the mat today. And when the mat gets tough, I will return to my intention to remind myself why I am here today." 

Besides staying strong and focused, my intention for tomorrow is to be gentle with myself. To know the difference between my mind saying I can't and my body saying I can't. To accept my performance as it is and to be happy with it. Even if it means pull out mid-race, even if it means getting a worse time than last year. 

This is most likely going to be more difficult than running 26.2 miles. But if I can run 26.2 miles, I can be happy with the results.

And now I leave you with the theme of last year's marathon (Kelly Clarkson's Catch My Breath), and a great reminder of just how far I've come:

I don't wanna be left behind

Distance was a friend of mine

Catching breath in a web of lies

I've spent most of my life

Riding waves, playing acrobat

Shadowboxing the other half

Learning how to react

I've spent most of my time

Catching my breath, letting it go,

Turning my cheek for the sake of the show

Now that you know, this is my life,

I won't be told what's supposed to be right

Catch my breath, no one can hold me back,

I ain't got time for that

Catch my breath, won't let them get me down,

It's all so simple now

Addicted to the love I found

Heavy heart, now a weightless cloud

Making time for the ones that count

I'll spend the rest of my time

Laughing hard with the windows down

Leaving footprints all over town

Keeping faith, karma comes around

I will spend the rest of my life

Catching my breath, letting it go,

Turning my cheek for the sake of the show

Now that you know, this is my life,

I won't be told what's supposed to be right

Catch my breath, no one can hold me back,

I ain't got time for that

Catch my breath, won't let them get me down,

It's all so simple now

You helped me see

The beauty in everything

Catching my breath, letting it go,

Turning my cheek for the sake of the show

Now that you know, this is my life,

I won't be told what's supposed to be right

See you on the flipside.

A really honest blog posting

Failure.

Disappointment.

Giving up. 

Just a few words I would use to describe my run today. 

This run failure began on Tuesday or Wednesday, when I got the glorious news that the Marine Corps Marathon was banning backpacks. All backpacks, including my beloved security blanket, my North Face hydration backpack. Yeah, okay, security and all that, but COME ON PEOPLE.

I mean, look at this - wearing it last year. (well, there's more than 1 security blanket pictured in this photo...) How happy I am, thumbs up. I've got my security blanket(s) and I'm one happy girl

I was already getting used to the idea that my one security blanket was not going to be there at mile 20 

. But you know what, I was okay. I had my plan (HAH PLANS), I had my training, and I had my trusty backpack to bring all of my goodness in it. 

But now, 25 days before the run, I now find myself having to face running 26.2 miles without my backpack. The backpack that I trained with, the backpack that I'm comfortable with. And the ability to drink my blessed NUUN whenever I want. Because, you know, they don't have NUUN on the course. And I have my irrational fear of fainting on the course due to hypnoatremia (overhydration). So you know, commence freak-out.

(Honesty here)

I think this really has to do with the fact that no matter how much I run, deep inside I still think I'm the fat, asthmatic teenager that I used to be in middle/high school. Everytime something is slightly hard, my brain fires up with, "SEE? This is what I was telling you. You can't do this. Stop pretending to be a runner." So I try to think of every single contingency that could possibly come up with that could go wrong so I could tell my brain, "SHUT UP YOU STUPID BINT!" Dehydration, lack of food, lack of sugar, inhaler - everytime something comes up, I want to be able to shut down that voice and keep going. To be one of those people who effortlessly runs like a gazelle, instead of a warthog. 

The truth is, I have a really hard time controlling my own brain. It literally runs wild sometimes with thoughts and doubts and plans and dreams. Not just with running either, it's with a lot of things in life (read: dating). I tend to start daydreaming - knowing full well that I'm daydreaming, and that it will never come true. But you know, sometimes I get all wrapped up in it, and get disappointed.

Recently, I've determined that writing my books (yeah, I write books) is so fulfilling because it's the only thing in this world that I can control (ding ding ding - control issue). I can make the exactly what I plan happen just by typing it in. Poof, there it goes. There's no disappointment when I'm in total control of the situation.

Which brings me back to the crux of my freak-out about the change.

If I don't bring everything I am going to consume, that means I have to rely on other people. And what if those people let me down? Then my brain will go into overdrive and tell me to just quit. And I think I'm afraid of hearing that voice during the marathon. And actually listening to it, like I did last year, and failing miserably. Because I am not a gazelle, I am a warthog. 

BUT

I have 25 days to get my shit together and try to make the best out of a bad situation. 

So today I ran with a fuel belt instead of my backpack. I had 2 10oz bottles (and a prayer that I would find water stops every 5 miles or so), I bought a new holder for my peanut butter crackers and extra NUUN, my phone, and I safety pinned 6 GUs to my belt (because I can't fit in clif blocks). And I said, welp! time to go run 22 miles.

And it was fucking terrible. 

I'll tell you, the pressure on my stomach from the belt made me feel like I was going to vomit. The whole time. Although I am sure that the 90 degrees and high humidity levels didn't help. And also the fact that the gubment had shut down the trail I wanted to run on, so we had to run on another trail. So instead of going on the beautiful Capital Crescent Trail, I was stuck on the W&OD trail. 

And then my arch STARTED HURTING. So I had to basically limp home. The last 5 miles were 80% walking. 

I'm trying to stay positive. Really, I am. I'm trying to let go of control without giving up completely. You know, let go and let God (or whomever you like). 

So here are the positive things about today:

- I am alive and I ran 16 miles

- I may be able to run with GUs only and not NUUN. The GUs have a higher electrolyte level than the clif blocks. We shall test this concept next week.

- Salted Caramel GU is sent from the GODS. The GOOOOOODS

- I am going to physical therapy on Monday

:)